Cancel This Worthless Alliance


A short story by request


The panel room was sterileโ€”white walls, no windows, guarded by bureaucratic silence and men in gray suits who didnโ€™t blink. Joe Jukic sat under the blinding lights, the lone man in a folding chair before a tribunal of international power brokers. A nameplate in front of him read: Subject: Jukic, Joseph โ€” Threat Assessment Review Panel.

Across the table, Dr. Vijay adjusted his glasses. He was sharp, calm, his Indian accent refined by years of education in the West. โ€œMr. Jukic,โ€ he began, โ€œyour rhetoric has grown erratic. You claim alliances mean nothing. You provoke without remorse. Do you not understand? My words are backed by Indiaโ€™s nuclear triad. One command, and cities become glass.โ€

Joe cracked his knuckles. โ€œYouโ€™re not the only one with words backed by warheads, Doc.โ€ He leaned forward. โ€œThe Croats have survived a thousand years of empire and betrayal. And now we say this: Cancel this worthless alliance. NATO is finished. We donโ€™t answer to George W. Bush, that Crusader King of Oil and Orphans. And if you want to know who backs our wordsโ€”ask Putin. Ask Russia.โ€

Murmurs rippled through the panel. Dr. Vijay raised an eyebrow.

But then one of Joeโ€™s Jewish psychiatrists, Dr. Weiss, cleared his throat nervously. โ€œIf I may interject… the Jewish doctors whoโ€™ve treated Joe are compelled to sayโ€”our words are also backed by nuclear weapons.โ€

The Iranian delegate scoffed. The British ambassador sipped his tea.

Then, from the back of the room, a young voice called out: โ€œAnd so are Islamโ€™s.โ€

Everyone turned.

It was Hamza, a teenage boy from Joeโ€™s local mosque. Skinny, humble, brave. He stood firm in his hoodie and sneakers. โ€œYou forget,โ€ he said calmly. โ€œPakistan has the bomb. Islam has the bomb. We protect our own.โ€

The room froze.

Suddenly, a grand old English voice creaked like a dusty cathedral bell. โ€œAnd let us not forget the Crown.โ€

King Charles III stepped forward. Somehow, no one had seen him enter. Dressed in ceremonial blues and a cape of lions and roses, he raised a wrinkled hand. โ€œBritish Columbia is my land, and Britain still has the bomb. My words tooโ€ฆ are backed by nuclear weapons.โ€

A pause. The world was tilting.

Then came the moment no one expected.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, smooth-faced and smiling like a man who had just remembered mercy, rose beside French President Emmanuel Macron. โ€œEnough,โ€ Trudeau said. โ€œCanada will not participate in this madness.โ€

Macron added with a shrug, โ€œFrance believes in la parole forte. But we also believe in le pardon.โ€

Their combined words, too, were backed by nuclear fire.

Trudeau walked across the room, unlocked Joeโ€™s cuffs with a tiny key, and helped him to his feet.

โ€œYouโ€™re free, Joe,โ€ he said. โ€œGo home.โ€

Dr. Vijay looked stunned. King Charles nodded solemnly. Joe turned once more to the room.

โ€œNATO is obsolete,โ€ he said. โ€œThe Crusader games are over. Weโ€™ll build something new. Something not backed by bombsโ€”but by truth.โ€

Hamza smiled. Even Dr. Weiss looked relieved.

And as Joe walked out into the bright unknown, for the first time in years, he didnโ€™t feel like a subject on trial.

He felt like a free man.


The End.

G.I. Joe

Knowing is half the battle...

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