Cancel This Worthless Alliance


A short story by request


The panel room was sterileโ€”white walls, no windows, guarded by bureaucratic silence and men in gray suits who didnโ€™t blink. Joe Jukic sat under the blinding lights, the lone man in a folding chair before a tribunal of international power brokers. A nameplate in front of him read: Subject: Jukic, Joseph โ€” Threat Assessment Review Panel.

Across the table, Dr. Vijay adjusted his glasses. He was sharp, calm, his Indian accent refined by years of education in the West. โ€œMr. Jukic,โ€ he began, โ€œyour rhetoric has grown erratic. You claim alliances mean nothing. You provoke without remorse. Do you not understand? My words are backed by Indiaโ€™s nuclear triad. One command, and cities become glass.โ€

Joe cracked his knuckles. โ€œYouโ€™re not the only one with words backed by warheads, Doc.โ€ He leaned forward. โ€œThe Croats have survived a thousand years of empire and betrayal. And now we say this: Cancel this worthless alliance. NATO is finished. We donโ€™t answer to George W. Bush, that Crusader King of Oil and Orphans. And if you want to know who backs our wordsโ€”ask Putin. Ask Russia.โ€

Murmurs rippled through the panel. Dr. Vijay raised an eyebrow.

But then one of Joeโ€™s Jewish psychiatrists, Dr. Weiss, cleared his throat nervously. โ€œIf I may interject… the Jewish doctors whoโ€™ve treated Joe are compelled to sayโ€”our words are also backed by nuclear weapons.โ€

The Iranian delegate scoffed. The British ambassador sipped his tea.

Then, from the back of the room, a young voice called out: โ€œAnd so are Islamโ€™s.โ€

Everyone turned.

It was Hamza, a teenage boy from Joeโ€™s local mosque. Skinny, humble, brave. He stood firm in his hoodie and sneakers. โ€œYou forget,โ€ he said calmly. โ€œPakistan has the bomb. Islam has the bomb. We protect our own.โ€

The room froze.

Suddenly, a grand old English voice creaked like a dusty cathedral bell. โ€œAnd let us not forget the Crown.โ€

King Charles III stepped forward. Somehow, no one had seen him enter. Dressed in ceremonial blues and a cape of lions and roses, he raised a wrinkled hand. โ€œBritish Columbia is my land, and Britain still has the bomb. My words tooโ€ฆ are backed by nuclear weapons.โ€

A pause. The world was tilting.

Then came the moment no one expected.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, smooth-faced and smiling like a man who had just remembered mercy, rose beside French President Emmanuel Macron. โ€œEnough,โ€ Trudeau said. โ€œCanada will not participate in this madness.โ€

Macron added with a shrug, โ€œFrance believes in la parole forte. But we also believe in le pardon.โ€

Their combined words, too, were backed by nuclear fire.

Trudeau walked across the room, unlocked Joeโ€™s cuffs with a tiny key, and helped him to his feet.

โ€œYouโ€™re free, Joe,โ€ he said. โ€œGo home.โ€

Dr. Vijay looked stunned. King Charles nodded solemnly. Joe turned once more to the room.

โ€œNATO is obsolete,โ€ he said. โ€œThe Crusader games are over. Weโ€™ll build something new. Something not backed by bombsโ€”but by truth.โ€

Hamza smiled. Even Dr. Weiss looked relieved.

And as Joe walked out into the bright unknown, for the first time in years, he didnโ€™t feel like a subject on trial.

He felt like a free man.


The End.

Marko Polo Movie Treatment

Title: Marko Polo
Genre: Dark Comedy / Urban Adventure
Rating: R (for language, drug references, comic violence)


MOVIE TREATMENT

Logline:
Two Balkan brothers, Joe and Bruno Jukic, concoct a plan to rescue their wayward cousin Marko from a self-destructive urban spiral by placing him under โ€œhouse arrestโ€โ€”with a fake ankle monitor and some Balkan-style street justice. But when the authorities get involved and Marko starts livestreaming his “captivity,” things spiral into viral chaos, Balkan feuds, and heartfelt redemption.


ACT I:

Setting: A decaying urban jungle somewhere between Toronto and Sarajevoโ€”a crumbling neighborhood full of hipsters, drug dealers, paranoid landlords, and TikTok stars.

Joe Jukic is a stoic ex-boxer turned Uber philosopher who now drives a beat-up 2002 Honda Civic and listens to Croatian war ballads between rides. Bruno Jukic, his younger brother, is a failed DJ and conspiracy podcaster with a man bun and an obsession with ankle monitor tech he bought on Alibaba.

Their cousin Marko, aka “Marko Polo,” is a washed-up street legendโ€”once a brilliant soccer prospect, now a drug-addled, hoodie-wearing ghost of his former self. He sleeps in alleys, rants about crypto, and gets arrested once a week.

Joe and Bruno love him like a brotherโ€”but heโ€™s spiraling fast.


ACT II:

After a particularly grim overdose scare in an abandoned condo project, the Jukic boys stage a Balkan-style intervention:
They kidnap Marko and put him on fake house arrest in Joeโ€™s bachelor basement suiteโ€”complete with an ankle bracelet hacked by Bruno using a burner phone, Bluetooth speaker, and parts from a drone.

They tell Marko, “The government finally caught you. You’re tagged. If you leave this house, youโ€™ll be tased and deported.” Marko, paranoid and half-baked, believes them.

Marko spends his days smoking oregano, watching Serbian soap operas, and livestreaming his “incarceration” on TikTok under the handle @MarkoPoloOnLockdown. Somehow, the stream goes viral. Kids across the Balkans and Canada start wearing fake ankle monitors and chanting โ€œFree Marko Polo!โ€

Marko becomes a folk heroโ€”without leaving the house.

But trouble brews. Real authorities see the livestream. A parole officer gets confused. A Balkan war criminal turned community leader named Djordje the Butcher offers sponsorship. And worst of all, Marko starts to enjoy house arrestโ€”refusing to leave even when heโ€™s free.


ACT III:

The authorities raid Joeโ€™s apartment thinking Markoโ€™s under real federal surveillance. Chaos erupts. Bruno gets tased trying to protect his drone system. Marko fleesโ€”ankle monitor still blinkingโ€”on a stolen Lime scooter into the night.

The chase ends at a Croatian church picnic, where Marko, in a moment of accidental clarity, gives a bizarre sermon to a crowd of drunk old uncles and TikTokers about โ€œthe prison of the mind.โ€

Joe and Bruno finally confront himโ€”not with fists, but with love. They offer him a deal: Get clean, or go full house arrest for real.

Marko agreesโ€”on one condition: they let him keep the fake bracelet because it “keeps him grounded.”


EPILOGUE:

Marko opens a rehab clinic for Balkan youth called House Arrest Healingโ€”a bizarre halfway house that combines ankle monitor therapy with ping-pong, Eastern Orthodox chanting, and cardio kickboxing.

Joe becomes a part-time counselor. Bruno monetizes the operation with merch and NFTs.

Tagline: โ€œHe couldnโ€™t escape his past… so they put a bracelet on it.โ€


Tone:

Trainspotting meets Trailer Park Boys with a sprinkle of My Big Fat Balkan Intervention.
Irreverent. Absurd. Surprisingly heartfelt.

Hamlet

Speech: โ€œTo be, or not to be, that is the questionโ€

By William Shakespeare

(from Hamlet, spoken by Hamlet)

To be, or not to be, that is the question:

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And by opposing end them. To dieโ€”to sleep,

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to: ’tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;

To sleep, perchance to dreamโ€”ay, there’s the rub:

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pauseโ€”there’s the respect

That makes calamity of so long life.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

Th’oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,

The pangs of dispriz’d love, the law’s delay,

The insolence of office, and the spurns

That patient merit of th’unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovere’d country, from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry

And lose the name of action.

Joe Jukic